Ranger's Distraction
by Amers3
Summary: Steph helps Ranger with a Distraction but it isn't Steph that the skip wants, its Ranger. Morelli friendly.
1. Chapter 1

**Standard Disclaimer Applies**

* * *

It was a Friday morning at the office, we had had a distraction last night and everyone was in a pretty good mood

It was a Friday morning at the office, there had been a distraction last night and everyone was in a pretty good mood. Well that is except the boss.

**Thursday Evening**

Stephanie was just finishing up the last minute touches to her make up when her door was jimmied open.

"You know it wouldn't kill you knock."

"Babe."

"I'll be ready in a minute."

Steph made him wait ten.

"Okay all set to go."

Ranger's eye darkened when Steph stepped out of the bathroom. She had on a barely there skirt with a shirt that showed a lot of cleavage.

"We have a few minutes longer." Ranger said before he had her up against the wall kissing her.

Her hands were traveling up his stomach as his made their way up the back of her thighs. At the rate they were going they weren't going to make it to the bar tonight.

"Hey break it up." Ranger and Steph jumped apart. Morelli stood just inside the doorway with Tank behind him.

"Boss we have to get going, Lester called the skip is in the bar."

Ranger nodded in Tank's direction and the big man left.

"Steph you ready?"

"Let me fix my lipstick and I'll be down."

Ranger left the apartment but stayed in the hallway.

"Cupcake, what was that?"

"That was our pre-distraction ritual Joe."

"Jesus. You did that while we were together too I take it?"

"Joe, we aren't together anymore."

"I know Steph. I was coming by to see if you wanted to watch the game tonight but I guess you got to work."

"Sorry Joe."

"You think Ranger would let me come watch?"

"Watch what?"

"You work?"

"Why would you want to do that?"

"Well now that we are just friends I probably won't have the urge to punch some guy that is pawing you. "

"That isn't an answer Joe, why would you want to come watch?"

"I just wanted to see what he makes you do once you get… I guess you could call what you're wearing dressed."

"If you're going to be like that then no you can't come."

"Come on Cupcake."

"I never got to go to a crime scene with you and watch you work."

"Steph most of the scenes I was called to you were already there."

She couldn't argue with that.

"You'd have to ask Ranger, Joe."

Joe nodded and left the apartment. Steph followed grabbing her bag and locking her door.

Joe and Ranger were standing in the hallway discussing whether Joe should be able to go or not.

"You can't get in the way."

"I swear it." Joe held up his hand.

Ranger nodded and walked towards the stairs.

"I'm not taking the stairs." Steph called after him.

Ranger looked back at her, then down until he got to her shoes. Four inches of heel.

He turned and pressed the elevator button.

"Steph you have him twisted around your finger." Morelli commented.

"Sssh, Joe don't let him know it."

Ranger glared at her, but she just smiled at him until he stopped.

Joe stood there shaking his head.

When they got out to the car Tank was in the driver's seat. Ranger opened the back door for Steph and then went around to the other side and got in the back with her. Joe stood still not knowing if he should get in with them or if he should take his own car.

"Morelli you coming?" Tank boomed.

"Yeah, yeah." Joe got in, buckling up.

Ranger told Steph what the skip, Lance Adale, looked liked and that he was seated at the bar. After that they sat in an eerie silence.

Tank found a parking space right in front.

"You too!" Steph said from the back seat.

Tank turned and looked at her. Ranger had a smile on his face, which was the equivalent of his laugh.

"Steph what are you talking about?" Morelli wanted to know.

"He got a space right in front, it's like a Rangemen thing."

Morelli turned and looked at her disbelievingly. "I'll be inside."

Morelli went off in the direction of the bar, and Tank handed Ranger the mic. Ranger took it and looked at Tank expectantly waiting for him to get out of the truck.

But he didn't.

Steph didn't move to take the mic away from him, waiting for him to put it on her while Tank is sitting there. Ranger let out a sigh and slid his hand up under her shirt to place the mic. He didn't stop to fondle anything or take any side trips.

Steph could see Tank shoulders shaking; she knew that he was laughing at Ranger.

"All right, go get 'em Tiger." Ranger kissed her lightly and let Steph get out of the truck.

As Steph was leaving the truck she heard the _smacking_ noise of Ranger hitting Tank on the back of the head. "You ass."

She didn't get to hear Tank's reply.

She made it in to the bar with out any difficulty, but she did get stopped twice on the way to the bar. Both guys were drunk off their asses and couldn't walk in a straight line.

She made it to the bar where Bobby was tending.

Bobby nodded in the direction of the skip. She walked over and sat in the vacant seat next to him. She sat there sipping a drink that Bobby placed in front of her. In the mirror behind the bar she saw Ranger walk in.

"Oh My God!" The skip next to her proclaimed.

"What is it?" She tried to get his attention.

"Did you see that man that just walked in?"

"What?" She saw Bobby juggle glasses and Ranger hesitated as he crossed the room.

"He is HOT!!" Steph couldn't help but stare; this rough and dirty man was gay.

She couldn't stay there any longer she was going to lose it. She picked up her drink, got up and looked around. She saw Lester standing agape near the pool table and Joe sitting at a table near the back, clueless. She headed towards Joe.

Joe looked at her surprised.

"What are you doing?"

"He wasn't interested."

"What?"

"He's gay."

"So now what?"

"Now we get to watch Ranger bring him in."

Joe sputtered his drink all over the table. "You serious?"

"Very."

They both turned to watch, Lester was no longer even trying to act interested in pool and Bobby wasn't paying a whole lot of attention to his customers anymore. All of them had their eyes glued to Ranger, waiting to see him go for it. She even saw Tank and Woody peer in from their posts outside.

You could visibly see Ranger prepare himself before going over to the skip.

Steph talked down into her cleavage. "Next time I want an ear piece, I wish I could hear Ranger flirt with a guy."

Ranger obviously heard her because he stopped to glare at her on his way by her to get to the bar.

Ranger sat down on the stool that Steph had been sitting in and started talking to Bobby.

"Beer, please."

Bobby plunked one down in front of him, his eyes still glued to him.

Ranger gulped down half his beer, then turned towards the skip. He opened his mouth to talk and nothing came out.

"Uh-oh Joe, he is going to blow it."

Joe sat there shaking his head. "Does this happen a lot?"

"Nope, this is the first time I get to see Ranger in action, usually they go for Lester."

"Why?" Joe nodded.

Steph's head whipped around at him. "What do you mean by that?"

"Not like that Steph."

"Un-huh. They usually go for Lester because Ranger hides out in the parking lot waiting to nab them."

"So he's scared?"

"Maybe. It doesn't look like he is doing too well now."

Ranger sat at the bar listening to Steph and Joe talk about him. He gritted his teeth, looked at the skip and tried again.

"Hey."

The skip looked at him. "Yeah." Even from where Tank and Woody were standing in the doorway they knew he had just batted his lashes at Ranger.

"Could you pass the peanuts?" Through his mic he could hear his guys.

"Oh come on Ranger you have to do better than that. Ask him to dance." Lester egged him on.

"Yeah Rangeman," Tank chimed in, "You can do the bump and grind together."

Ranger could hear his men openly laughing at him. He grabbed a handful of peanuts and threw them in his mouth. When he looked back he saw that the skip was watching his every move.

"So…" Ranger tried again but he could think of nothing.

The skip leaned towards Ranger and he instinctively put his hand behind his back to where he gun was. When he did his hand brushed fabric, he turned around in his chair to see Steph and Joe sitting there. Steph gave him a Cheshire cat grin and smiled.

When Ranger turned back around the skip started talking to him.

"You're in the closet aren't you?"

"What?"

"It's okay when its time its time. Though I don't think you have anything to worry about," the skip put his hand on Ranger's thigh and leaned in even closer. "Men will be all over you once you're on the market."

"Ya think?" It sounded as if Ranger wanted to come off as skeptical but it came out pissed.

"Uh-huh sounds like that wasn't what you wanted to hear, some guy told you otherwise didn't they?"

"Umm…"

"Say no more I'll show you how a guy is supposed to be treated."

From all the laughing that was coming through on his mic he wished he had just knocked the guy out and dragged his ass out of the bar. He was never going to live this down.

The skip grabbed his hand and led Ranger out of the bar hand in hand. Steph hopped off her seat dragging Joe with her.

"Come on Joe walk faster I don't want to miss any of this."

The skip had opened the door and held it so Ranger could walk through it. Ranger then whipped around, his fist striking out, catching the guy in his jaw.

Ranger stalked off leaving his men to take care of the skip.

He was pacing in front of the truck when Steph caught up with him.

"Come on Ranger, it wasn't that bad. It happens to Lester once in a while too."

"Babe, that's not helping."

Joe placed his hand on Ranger's shoulder, "Come on Manoso lighten up."

Ranger turned and glared out Joe, "If this makes it to the station…"

"You'll what?"

Tank wandered over to where Joe and Ranger were facing off. "All set to go? Bobby, Lester and Woody are taking the skip to the station. Safety in numbers I think, in case Lance wakes up."

"Yep, Tank lets go." Steph said.

Joe and Ranger continued to glare at each other.

Tank got in the driver's seat surprised to see Steph seating in the passenger's seat.

"Ranger's going to kill you for making him sit next to Morelli right now."

"He would never do that, but he might drive himself and make you seat in the back next to Joe."

If it was possible the huge black man paled. "He wouldn't do that."

"Ten says he does."

"You're on." Tank agreed.

Steph's door was opened to reveal a stunned Ranger, "Babe?"

"Ranger." She smiled at him.

"Tank let me drive." Ranger shut the door before Tank could answer. Tank in turn glared at Steph.

When Ranger opened Tank's door, "Out."

Tank got out and then into the backseat. From the backseat Tank handed Steph a ten.

"What's that for?" Morelli wanted to know from his seat besides Tank.

"Nothing." Tank grumbled.

Ranger lifted his eyebrow in Steph's direction, but she only smirked and put the bill in her purse.

Ranger dropped Joe and Steph back off at her apartment, pausing only long enough for them to get out. He then took off back in the direction of Haywood.

"His guys are in for a beating tonight." Steph commented.

"You'll let me know what shit they give him tomorrow?" Joe wanted to know.

"I thought you didn't like me working at Haywood with Ranger?"

"It has it advantages I guess." Joe walked off in the direction of his car.

"Hey Cupcake!" he called back to her.

"Yeah Joe?"

"I still want to still you in action."

"You think Ranger will ever let you go on another distraction job?"

"No probably not." Joe got into his car smiling the whole way home as he remembered the evening.

Steph got up to her apartment without a problem, there were no scary men waiting under her bed amongst the dust bunnies. Rex was busy running his marathon in his wheel and didn't bother looking at her as she crossed to her room undressing. She pulled on one of Ranger's shirt then collapsed for the night smiling as she replayed the evening through her head.

**Friday **  
_Haywood_

Ranger walked onto the fifth floor and there was silence, but not the usual silence. This was a silence that screamed that everybody was up to something. Ranger walked into his office and sat down to finish up the paperwork so everyone would get paid this week. He never got to it.

He sat in his chair dumbfounded; there on his desk was a picture frame. It was gaudy and sparkly and pink. The picture was of him sitting next to the skip, as if that wasn't bad enough the skip's hand was on his thigh. Shit.

He grabbed the frame slid the picture out and tossed it. He logged onto his computer and waited for his desktop to boot up. There as the background was the same picture.

"SHIT." Ranger couldn't hold it in, that's it they were all dead. He didn't care anymore who was responsible they were all dead.

He brought up the security feeds and looked through until he found one of Steph he liked. He printed it off and stuck it in the frame.

He was going to start in on the paperwork, when the icon on his screen caught his eye. He didn't know what it was for but it looked like audio clip. He should have known better but he clicked it.

When it opened he waited for it to load, and clicked play. This is when he found out that some jokester decided to turn his speakers up as loud as they could go.

At full volume he heard:

"Men will be all over you once you're on the market."

"Ya think?"

"I'll show you how a guy is supposed to be treated."

He heard the entire floor outside of his office burst out laughing. Heads were going to roll.

We stormed out of his office. "Tank, gym."

"Oh come on man why me?" Tank complained but he followed after him anyways.

After sparing with Tank a few rounds Ranger used the showers on three to get cleaned up. When he came out of the shower his black shirt was gone, it was replaced by a pale pink polo. There was a note laying on top it stating:

_For when you come out._

Ranger's fist clenched at his sides this is why he usually uses his apartment. He got dressed putting the shirt on and strode out into the gym. All movement stopped. Everyone that was using the gym had their eyes glued to Ranger's shirt.

Lester came bounding in. "Hey boss, an account called they want to meet with you this afternoon. That…" He froze finally looking up from the file he was carrying. "What is that?" He asked pointing at his shirt. "That better not be a new uniform. Cause I ain't wearing it. Hell no."

"The account?"

"What? Oh yeah, they wanted to meet with you this afternoon. You had an hour at three I wanted to know if I could go ahead and schedule them in?"

"You're my secretary today Lester?"

"Well, they dialed the main extension and Woody got it, he asked me to give you the message."

"Three is fine, which account?"

"The McLarty family."

"All right tell Tank to come too."

"Sure no problem, boss."

Ranger made his way up to the seventh floor. No one else asked about his shirt, or even met his eyes when he walked past.

In his apartment he tore the shirt off and strode into his closet. They were all gone. All of his black shirts were gone, even the ones that had been in the laundry. All he had left was another pink shirt that had the words _JUICY _spelled out on it white sparkles. He was going to kill them, whoever they were.

He walked over to his nightstand and pressed the speaker button for Ella.

"Hello, Ranger."

"Hi Ella, could you bring me up one of my shirts?"

There was silence from Ella's end.

"I'll bring one right away."

"Thank you, Ella."

Ranger paced in front of the door waiting for Ella. As soon as she knocked he swung it open. She stood there with his shirt folded nicely in her hands. He reached out and quickly pulled it on. He stepped outside then waited for the elevator with Ella.

"What happened to the rest of your shirts?" Ella finally asked.

"Gone."

"Do you need me to go shopping?"

"No it was a joke that was done in poor taste."

Ella nodded; she had probably expected it to happen eventually with a building full of men.

Ranger made it through the rest of his day without any more reminders of the horrific distraction.

When it came time to go to the meeting Tank knocked on the door.

"Hey, boss? You ready?"

"Meet you there."

Tank nodded and made his way to the conference room.

The meeting went as expected, the McLarty's wanted a more elaborate security system with all the bells and whistles. And of course Rangmen would help them upgrade.

Ranger made his way back to his office, stopping to see Steph first.

"Babe."

"Ranger."

He looked past her face to see that she had the same wallpaper on her desktop as he had this morning.

"What is that?"

"It's you from last night."

"I know that but why is that on your computer?"

"It's on everybody's, they were all like this when we got in today."

Ranger turned back around and went into the safety of his office.

On his desk was a file folder, probably one of his searches that he had requested. He opened it up and there was only one piece of paper in the folder. On it was:

Next time you need a pick up line here's a few:

There's some lint on your collar.

I love your smile.

I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

I'd ask you to dance, but the kind of dancing I want to do can't be done in public.

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.

This is your lucky day, because I just happen to be single.

Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

I'm feeling kind of insecure right now. Could I have a hug?

If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.

Do you find duct tape erotic?

Ranger shook his head and crumpled it up and threw it in the garbage like he had done with the picture earlier. This day felt like it was never going to end.

* * *

_I wrote another story that could be considered a sequel to this one called Not My Fault.  
Let me know what you think and if you have any ideas for other stuff the guys can pull on Ranger._


	2. Chapter 2

_Yes I understand this is like the longest day ever but hey whatever it works._

Ranger had had enough, there was no way that he was going to sit around here and listen to his guys make fun of him. He grabbed a bunch of the folders off of his desk and made his way down to the garage.

Ranger beeped his car unlocked and then angled inside of it. He started it up and opened one of the files to see what skip he was going to go after.

Jeffery Daler was picked up for beating a prostitute and then when he was being tried two more came forward and then his wife testified to abuse. Why Vinnie bonded these creeps out was beyond him.

Ranger looked through the file putting Daler's address in to his GPS before he headed out. Ranger also noted his that both his brother and parents' house were within two blocks. If he wasn't at home he would have to go calling on the family members.

Ranger backed his car out of his spot and pressed the button on his fob to open the gate. As he waited for the gate to rise he noticed out of the corner of his eye something pink. It was the pink that made him look twice.

There on _his_ antenna was a pink ball, he closed his eyes and thunked his head on his steering wheel. What happened to the time when people where scared of him? He knew what happened he had fallen for Stephanie that is when people stopped seeing him as scary.

Ranger left the offending thing on his antenna and waited until he got to the skip's house to rip the pink ball off of his antenna. He threw it on the ground and went to knock on Daler's door.

Daler opened up the door, his eyes were blood shot and he was swaying on his feet. Ranger was able to forcibly get Daler into his car with little trouble. He had been hoping for a good fight to get his mind off of the guys' mindless practical jokes.

Ranger drove to the police station to drop off Daler and collect his receipt. When he walked into the station and he was surprised to be met with catcalls. Obviously Morelli hadn't kept his mouth shut.

Ranger ignored them, bringing Daler over to the docket officer at the desk. The man sitting there looked up at him and honest to God batted his eyes. Ranger stood stock still, not believing that anyone would believe that he was gay. What the hell had Morelli said?

The cops were all laughing as they processed the skip, which seems to take an extra long time. Finally the man behind the desk takes the paperwork on Daler and hands Ranger his receipt. Ranger nods at the man and tried to get out of there before anyone can do or say anything.

Doesn't happen.

"Manoso." Ranger stiffened his shoulders and turned to face Morelli. Ranger lifted an eyebrow and waited for him to continue.

"We got some interesting reports today from the patrols. Seems a black car like the one you drove in was seen having a pink antenna ball on it. Clashes with the black don't you think?"

Ranger stared Morelli down, but it wasn't having the effect he had hoped for. Guess being seen trying to flirt with a gay guy does that.

"Yeah, Ranger I heard you was trying to pick up a _man_ in some dive on Stark Street. No wonder all them criminals are scared of you. They don't want you making a move on them." Some cop he didn't know the name of laughed.

"Here we all thought you were operating outside of the law." Carl clapped him on his back and grinned at him. "And here Joe was all jealous of the time Steph spends with you."

Ranger looked over and Morelli in time to see his face turn red at the statement. Ranger nodded his head in Morelli's direction letting him know that he saw and left.

Ranger threw open his car door and jumped inside tossing the body receipt on the passenger's seat. When it landed on the seat another piece of paper fluttered away from it. Ranger leaned over the console and picked it up.

_273-8952 The name's Sam._

Holy shit the man that had batted his eyes at him gave him his phone number. The man must be new for him not to know that the guys were only teasing Ranger. Ranger grabbed another file.

Doris Flanagan wanted for kidnapping, it seemed her ex had custody of their child and Doris didn't like that. Doris had kidnapped her daughter and then fled taking the kid over several state lines. Ranger didn't think that he could properly get his anger out on Doris so he put that file down and grabbed the other one.

Marcus Lynton, He was a huge SOB and would normally be a skip that Steph would do a distraction for. But he had had enough of distractions for a while. Besides the way Ranger was feeling he didn't think that Marcus would cause him too much trouble.

He was looking for a fight anyway the sparring with Tank hadn't helped much as Tank continued to taunt him for hitting like a girl and acting like a pansy over the guys antics.

Ranger headed out to Marcus's house, which wasn't too far away from Steph's apartment building. Ranger caught himself looking in her lot to see if her car was there, but it was gone. She was probably either still at Rangeman or helping Lula with a skip. Ranger shook his head getting focused back on his anger so he could take down his skip.

Ranger pulled up in front of Marcus's house and made sure that he accidentally forgot his backup piece so he would have a reason to go after the guy. Ranger walked up to the door and rang the bell.

The door opened only after a few seconds and Marcus towered over him.

Ranger watched the man's eyes widened in recognition. Ranger prepared himself for a chase but Marcus flung open the door and stuck his hands out.

"I heard about you. You the one that likes men. You don't touch me or make any moves on me, I'll come quietly." Marcus told him still holding out his wrists.

Ranger slapped his cuffs on him careful not to appear as if he was hitting on him. What the hell? How had Marcus heard about that awful distraction? And who ever was passing the story around was doing a bang up job, because people actually believed that it is true.

Ranger got Marcus settled in the car and made another trip to the police station. Ranger helped Marcus out of his car and pushed him towards the door.

"Watch it buddy or I will beat your candy ass."

Ranger thought about pushing him again just so he could have that fight that he had been looking forward to but thought better of it.

Ranger got Marcus into the station without another incident and over to Sam's desk. Sam took Ranger's paperwork and wrote him a receipt making sure that he touched Ranger's hand. Marcus's jaw is gaping having watched that little maneuver. Ranger put his hand on Marcus's arm to steer him to the bench where he would wait until he could be booked.

Marcus flips out.

"Don't touch me. I told you, I don't go that way." Marcus yells at Ranger.

Carl, Big Dog and the rest of the cops are tripping over themselves laughing. Eddie comes over to get Marcus into booking and away from Ranger. Morelli not wanting to let this go without a comment walks over to Ranger.

"Breaking hearts everywhere?"

Ranger clenched his fist, resenting himself for letting Morelli accompany them the night before.

"I had to turn him down, Steph wouldn't like it if I went home with someone else."

Morelli's face went beat red in a second. This was the second time that Morelli tried to make fun of Ranger and he turned red. The last time it was in embarrassment, this time he was pissed.

Ranger might have wanted a fight but he knew better than to get it from a cop while his buddies where standing around. Ranger left Morelli seething inside the station and went to go drop off the receipts.

When Ranger pulls up in front of the bond's office he was happy to see that Steph's car parked outside.

Ranger walked inside and was surprised to see that neither Connie nor Lula have their usual reaction to him, Steph is nowhere to be seen. Lula is looking at him like she ate something that tasted funny and Connie only nodded towards Vinnie's door.

"He's in."

Ranger knocked on Vinnie's door.

"What?"

Ranger opened the door and walked in, praying that there weren't any animals inside. As he is closing the door behind him he hears Lula ask Connie.

"What do you think they do in there?"

Ranger grimaced, now they think he is up to some perverted game with Vinnie.

"Just wanted to let you know that I will not be bringing in any skips for the next week or so, but I'll make sure that one of the guys keeps it covered." Ranger had decided against bringing in any more skips until this dreaded rumor had died down. Ranger always thought it was funny how Steph dreaded the burg grapevine, but now he could see why she would grow tired of it.

Surprisingly, Vinnie didn't give Ranger any of his usual bull but he did slowly inch his chair back away from Ranger. Great even the most perverted man he knew didn't even want to be near him. What does that say about him?

When Ranger leaves Vinnie office Steph is standing there with her back to him talking animated with Lula and Connie. Ranger watches the way her arms move as she talks as she replays the adventures of her day. Ranger stops watching her and listens to what she is telling them.

What the hell?

She is telling them about the jokes the guys had played on him. Knowing Connie and Lula the news of their practical jokes will be around the burg in a matter of minutes.

Ranger spun Steph around and kissed her.

This served several purposes. One it stopped her from telling more of his gruesome day. Two he'd take any reason he could get to kiss her. Three he wanted to substantiate the fact that he was not gay and was in fact seeing Steph.

Lula, Connie and Vinnie all froze.

"I'm not gay."

Ranger didn't say anything else, he just grabbed Steph's arm and dragged her out to his car. Once inside Ranger stuck the keys in the ignition but didn't start the car. He rested his head against the headrest and closed his eyes.

"Bad day?"

"Babe."

"That bad?"

Ranger opened one eye and looked at her. She was sitting in the passenger seat with the file that was there in her lap. She was smiling at him in a way that made him think she was laughing at him.

Steph leaned over the console and kissed him, letting her hands trail down him. Ranger sighed into her mouth and then she pulled away.

"I'll make you feel better, batman." Steph, whispered in his ear softly.

"Babe." Ranger let out on a groan as she sat back in her seat.

Ranger sighed and closed his eye again trying to get his breathing under control before he took off towards his apartment. He listened to her opening the file and looking through the contents. He heard her shift in the seat and then her startled gasp.

Ranger opened both eyes and had his hand on his gun. He was looking around the car ready for whatever it was. When he didn't see anything he looked back at Steph. She was holding the note that he had gotten from Sam.

"Babe?"

"Who's Sam?"

"Docket Officer that hit on me today."

"And you kept the note?"

Ranger shrugged it off and started the car. Steph sat still in the seat staring at the note. When she looked up and noticed that he was taking her towards Haywood she spoke up.

"I want to go home."

"Babe?"

"Please, take me to my apartment Ranger."

Ranger looked at her surprised to see hurt in her blue eyes. What had happened? She was just all over him and now she wanted him to drop her off elsewhere.

Ranger kept driving confused at her switch.

"Ranger you have to turn around."

Ranger ignored her command and kept going towards Haywood. There was no way he was going to let her stomp off because she was mad at him. He had seen her do that too many times with the cop.

Ranger pulled into Haywood despite Steph's heated protests that kept getting more and more inventive with a certain body part. The last one especially had made him inwardly cringe hoping to never get her really anger at him.

Ranger got out of his car and came around to the passenger side where Steph was still sitting and still buckled up. Since it didn't look like she was going anywhere on her own he opened her door himself, unbuckled her and then picked her up out of the car and carried her to the elevator. Steph started squirming half way there coming out of her shock that Ranger had gone caveman on her and was now dragging her to his cave.

"Ranger…" Steph started.

"Geez boss, going all out today, aren't we?" Lester snickered from behind them.

"Santos." Ranger warned.

"Lester, thank God." Steph shoved away from Ranger trying to get on her feet. "Do you think you could take me to my apartment?"

"Babe." Ranger turned his warning on her.

Lester looked between the two of them and caught sight of the note Steph still clutched in her fist.

"Whatcha got Beautiful?" Lester pulled the scrap of paper from her fist before she could stop him. Lester prepared himself for a threat against her. That would be the only reason Ranger was forcing Steph against her will into the building. Lester opened the note surprised to see that it was a note from some woman named Sam.

Lester looked up at Ranger unamused, the smile he had first had when he had greeted them turned to an angry frown.

"Ranger I think you took it a little too far. The guys were just picking on you, you don't have to carry around girls' phone numbers to make up for it." Lester said seething at Ranger.

Ranger stood there stock still realizing that Steph probably had thought the same thing as Lester.

"Sam," Ranger said through gritted teeth, "Is the name of the docket officer that did the paperwork on the skip I brought in."

"Rangeman I brought in a skip today the docket officer was a man." Lester stopped realizing what he had said and broke out laughing. "This is a man's phone number?" Lester barely got out between laughing fits. "Can't wait to tell the guys."

Steph still being held Ranger was staring at him in amusement.

"Babe." Ranger said in exasperation. Ranger shook his head and sat her down on her feet knowing she wasn't going to run away now.

Ranger tried to make a swipe for the note now that his hands were free, but Lester danced away and then ran up the stairs laughing.

"I should go after him." Ranger commented watching the stairway door close.

"Come on," Steph said tugging on his sleeve. Together they got into the elevator and made their way to the seventh floor. "I'm sorry." Steph said quietly as Ranger was unlocking his door.

Ranger looked at her with raised eyebrows and ushered her into his apartment.

"I shouldn't have overreacted like that."

"I know a way you can make it up to me, Babe" Ranger told her complete with wolf grin.

Steph shook her head at him. "I mean why would you have a girls phone number on you?"

Ranger had been walking her backwards towards his room and stopped completely at her words. "What?"

"I mean now that the whole 'burg thinks you gay, it's understandable that a guy would be after you."

Ranger let out a groan resting his forehead against hers.

"Do you still need cheering up?" Steph asked pressing her lips against his neck.

Ranger slid his hands under her shirt and was about to go on an 'exploration' when his phone rang. Ranger left one of his hands on her stomach and the other one went to his pocket for his phone.

"What?" Ranger growled into his phone.

"Reaffirming your masculinity?" Lester asked.

"This better be good."

"I have your father on line three. Says he has a problem."

"So? Fix it."

"Says he heard from your brother today that you are and I quote 'batting for the other team' end quote."

"Shit tell him…"

"I don't think so. I am not getting in the line of fire here." Lester transferred his father call before he could do anything else. Ranger stood there looking at the ringing phone in his hand having no clue what to say to his father.

Steph watched Ranger stare at the ringing phone. When it appeared that he wasn't going to answer it, she picked it up. Ranger tried to grab it out of her hand shaking his head no.

"Hello."

Steph was met with silence from the other end.

"Hello?" Steph tried again.

"Um, Sorry I was looking for Ricardo Manoso."

"This better not be Sam." Ranger gave her a fierce look but she only shrugged her shoulders.

"Ah, no it's not. This is Carlos."

"One second please." Steph handed the phone to Ranger. "It's a Carlos he better not be another one of your harem." She staged whispered to him.

"Yo." Ranger answered the phone.

"Is that how we taught you to answer the phone."

"No, sir."

"Who's the girl?"

"Stephanie."

"Hmm. Why hasn't she been over for dinner? She eats doesn't she?"

"Constantly."

"Well bring her over and put to rest these stories that your brother was telling Celia and the girls."

"What stories?"

"The ones about you picking up men, well I guess it's your harem now." Ranger heard laughter in the background letting him know that his siblings were having a laugh at his expense.

"I wasn't picking up men, sir." Ranger saw Steph out of the corner of his eye silently laughing at him. Ranger mouthed the word 'help' in her direction. She shook her head yes, but her eyes said she was going to give him hell.

"Ranger come on baby come back to bed." Steph slid her arms around Ranger talking in his ear that the phone was next to. Ranger threw her a sharp look that she ignored instead favoring to play with his ear. Ranger's grip tightened on the phone, his knuckles white.

"Seems I interrupted?"

"No, sir."

"Why not?"

"What?"

"If you have a fancy for men I'm not judging you on it I just wanted to know the truth."

"Dad, no. We are…"

"So you are seeing the girl?"

"Well she works for me."

"That's not an answer." Ranger knew he wouldn't be able to side step his father's question much longer. Ranger looked over at Steph who had her ear near the phone. Steph was watching him waiting to see what his answer was.

"Yes, sir. I am seeing her." Ranger watched as her eyes widened and she smiled at him.

"Hmm. Just bring her over for dinner, so your brother stops passing around these stories."

"Dad, she's not coming to dinner."

"Why not?"

"Yeah why not?" Steph chimed in.

Ranger glanced over his shoulder at Stephanie and shook his head. He knew that there would be no way of dissuading her now. Especially since she got an invite.

"Dad I have to go."

"We'll see you for dinner tomorrow don't make me tell your mother."

"But…"

"No buts." His father hung up the phone before he could talk his way out of it. Ranger looked down at the phone and then up at Stephanie.

"Thanks for the help."

"If you don't want me to meet your family maybe you should take Sam with you instead." Steph said with a smile.

"Babe."

_A/N: I'm a little stuck at this point so I don't know when more will be coming or if more will be coming. Any suggestions are most welcome._


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: The characters you recognize belong to Janet the ones you don't I made up.

Saturday

Ranger had spent the day capturing skips and just generally reaffirming his bad ass self. Little by little the jokes and smiles of the people around him were turning back into the wary glances and hushed whispers they had been before.

Ranger brought in several skips that hung around in Stark Street territory and no one at the police station said a word to his face about the gay skip. None of the skips that he had brought in said anything other than the normal cussing.

When he returned to the office it was business as normal and, with the exception of the pink tie that was left in his office, none of the guys conducted any practical jokes on his behalf.

All in all the day was going pretty good for him.

Ranger had stopped at the Bond's office twice, once to pick up files and second to drop off body receipts. Both times he had been able to drag Stephanie into the alley. And both times as he was leaving he saw both Lula and Connie's faces pressed against the window waiting for Steph to return so that they could grill her on what had gone down.

He was now getting ready to go pick Stephanie up to have dinner at his parents' house.

Dinner. At _his_ parents' house.

He picked on Stephanie for the outrageous way her family acted. Well she was going to be seeing the Cuban version tonight. His family might even be a tad bit more outrageous, as they had no personal boundaries. If you had a problem everyone knew about, but also everyone was trying to fix it. Which was the compete opposite of Stephanie's family as they told you what to do but then gave you food to make you feel better.

Steph was already thinking of him as a person and no longer saw him as the scary mercenary who hunted people down. This dinner was going to make her see him as harmless as a fluffy bunny. Well, maybe not fluffy, definitely not fluffy.

Ranger was pacing his apartment trying to find a good enough excuse to not pick Stephanie up. He kept glancing at the phone hoping that something would come up that he would have to cancel dinner, but he knew it wouldn't ring.

He knew nothing would interrupt his evening; his father had made sure of it. This morning he had found out that after talking to his father last night, his father had immediately called Tank to make sure that nothing would keep Ranger from making it to his parents' house for dinner. Tank was going to be on monitors for a week for agreeing. Yes he knew his father was bull headed and able to get people to do what he wanted, hadn't he just done that to Ranger in getting him to go to the family dinner.

He was stuck.

Ranger silently admitted defeat his father had outsmarted him. Ranger grabbed his keys off of the side table next to the door and caught the elevator down to the garage.

If he was stuck going he might as well take Stephanie with him, she had dragged him along to more than one family dinner. Now it was her turn.

Ranger beeped the truck unlocked and went to get into it. He shook his head and locked the car again. He hit a different button and the turbo unlocked, he knew Steph liked it better.

The usual twenty-minute drive from Haywood to Steph's apartment flew by. It seemed that everything was against him and he was going to get to his parents' house on time.

Ranger pulled up in front of the building and saw Steph's car parked in its usual spot next to the dumpster. He himself had no trouble finding a spot right in front of the door.

Ranger slowly pulled himself out of the car. He made his way over to the door stopping to look up at Steph's apartment window. The light was on and he could see her shadow dancing around, probably panicking about what she was wearing.

Ranger made short work of the stairs and was standing in front of her door debating with himself whether he should knock or not.

Not.

Ranger quickly opened Steph's door, he stepped inside glancing at Rex running on his wheel. From her bedroom, he heard her talking to someone. He was suddenly a very jealous man. Who the hell was in there with her?

Ranger silently made his way to her door and opened it far enough so that he could peek in.

There was Steph standing in heels and her underwear staring at her closet. From the looks of it she had already tried on several things as there was a pile on her bed and few things strew around the room.

He leaned in further to see who else was in there with her, when she started talking again.

"I shouldn't have said anything, I should have just stayed quiet. There probably was a reason Ranger didn't want me to meet his family." Steph leaned into her closet and took out a sweater. She shook her head at the sweater and tossed it behind her, where it joined the pile on the bed.

"Maybe I should call him?"

"A little late for that." Ranger told her pushing the door open, relieved that she was only talking to herself.

"I'm not ready."

A smile spread across Ranger's face and his eyes darkened letting her know where Ranger's thoughts were headed.

"As much as I enjoy what you are wearing now, it's not what I had in mind when I took you to see my parent's for the first time."

"Oh." Stephanie stammered. Pleased that he had imagined bringing her to her parents but confused as to why he hadn't done it before.

"Wear this." Ranger picked the sweater she had just discarded and a pair of jeans out of the pile on the bed and tossed them at her. "That will do."

"But…" Stephanie started shaking her head.

"No buts, now hurry before we are late. You don't want to make Mama angry." Ranger said rubbing the back of his neck, remembering the last tongue lashing he had gotten from his mother.

Steph pulled on the sweater and tugged the jeans up. "But I'll have to fix my hair."

"What's wrong with it?" Ranger asked grabbing her by the wrist to stop her from entering the bathroom. Ranger knew if she went into the bathroom it would be another ten minutes before they left and there was no way he was going to be late.

Somehow he had gotten Steph out of her apartment and down in to the turbo in under five minutes.

"Oh Ranger I love this car." Steph purred as she wiggled in to her seat.

Ranger tilted his head forward a fraction of an inch to indicate that he had heard her and pulled the car out into traffic. He was glad he remembered her fondness for her car.

As he drove he let him self fall into his 'zone' as Steph called it. He sat there wondering how he had gone from stalling to get to his parent's house to all of sudden rushing to get there on time. Well if he couldn't get there late to shorten the evening he might as well try to get there on time and leave as soon as possible. Either way he wasn't going to hang around and give his family the time to grill Stephanie. And anyway he was going to have to fend off questions his family would surely have about Stephanie and their relationship.

He had no clue what their relationship was, and he was pretty sure neither did she. They were friends yes, lovers yes, but there was no way he was going to tell his family that. So what did that make them? They were dating yes but boyfriend/girlfriend sounded so junior high.

Thinking about it had distracted him enough that he had almost missed the turnoff for his parents' house. He glanced up to his review mirror checking for a tail, in habit, as he got off the thruway, but then shifted his eyes back to the road. He had been so into his analysis of their relationship that he wouldn't have noticed if anyone had followed him or not.

Ranger parked the turbo in front of a very normal looking ranch house; he shut the engine off and turned to look at Steph. She was fidgeting in her seat but was making no move to open the door. She was as nervous as he was.

"Babe?"

Steph looked over at him and sent him a smile.

"You okay?"

She nodded her head and Ranger let her get away with just that. He got out of the car and met her on her side of the car. He held out his hand for her to take and she gripped it fiercely, holding it as if it were a lifeline.

"Babe?"

"Yes Ranger?"

"You will behave, won't you?"

Steph stopped as they were halfway up the drive and sent him a glare, "Not now I won't." She declared taking her hand back and folding her arms underneath her chest and then continuing towards the house without him.

"Steph, please?" Ranger asked easily catching up with him.

"I won't try to cause any trouble." She said with a huff, mad at herself for giving in so easily.

"That's not the same thing, Babe." Ranger told her.

"Yeah but it's the best you're going to get."

Ranger's lips tipped upwards in an almost smile. "You ready?"

"I think so." Steph said grabbing his hand again as he knocked on the door.

Within seconds an older version of Ranger opened the door.

"About time you got here." He told Ranger gruffly as he stood out of the way so that they could enter.

"Sir." Ranger nodded at him.

"It's been too long since you've last visited. You make your mother unhappy." His father told him as they gave each one of those man hugs, where they get close to each other and give one another slaps on the back.

"It's not his mother who is always gripping about not seeing him, Carlos." A woman stated as she came out of another room.

"Mama." Ranger smiled and leaned to give her a hug.

Steph stayed to the side with a smile as she watched Ranger greet his parents.

"So this is Stephanie?" Ranger's father asked.

"Yes, sir. Babe, this is my father Carlos Manoso and my mother Maria Manoso. Mama, father, this is Stephanie Plum." Ranger stood with his arm around Stephanie as he introduced her to his parents. Ranger stood there with his blank face on not letting anyone know what he was feeling but he was scared as hell of what his father was going to be saying to Stephanie. His brother was cut from the same mold as his father and they both had a habit of saying whatever was on their minds.

Stephanie stuck her hand out to shake Carlos' hand. "Mr. Manoso. It's nice to place a face with the voice."

"Please Stephanie it is Carlos and Maria." Ranger's mother butted in. "And what is this," She turned to Carlos. "You have spoken with her before?"

"She answered the phone at Ric's apartment."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"It was only last night when I invited them over for dinner."

"_Only_ last night, please Carlos you know better." Maria didn't leave him any more time to argue she turned on her heel and went into the kitchen to finish dinner.

"Please come in, there is no reason to wait in the hall. Come Ric your brother and sisters are all here." Carlos ushered them into the living room where another version of Ranger sat arguing some point with three women that all looked remarkably like Maria and a fourth who was the female version Ranger.

"Ranger." His brother called out. "Who is this? Are you bringing me women now that you are no longer interested in them?"

Ranger's eyes narrowed much to the amusement of his siblings.

"This is Stephanie."

"Hola Stephanie," Ranger's brother started taking her hand and leaning over it. "It is a great pleasure to meet you."

Before Ranger's brother could even introduce himself Ranger was taking her hand back and pulling her to sit down next to him on the sofa.

Ranger sent his brother a glare that had just as much power as throwing a dandelion at a charging elephant. Stephanie smiled at the uselessness of his glare, now he knew how she felt when her glares accomplished nothing.

"I heard a funny rumor floating around town yesterday little brother. It seems that you were in a bar picking up men."

"You know better than to listen to rumors."

"Rumor is it? I thought it was the truth as you were seen by several people leaving a bar with a man."

"That means nothing."

"I wasn't finished. Now where was I? Oh yes, leaving a bar holding hands with an unknown man."

All eyes turned to Ranger to see how he was going to spin this next piece of information.

"The man was a skip."

"Are you hold hands with all of your skips now, do you?"

"I guess your informant must not be too reliable as they missed a crucial detail. I hit the man I left the bar with."

"You didn't answer the question, but no matter. So you did indeed leave with a man, but you hit this guy? Does that mean you are no longer seeing him?"

Steph let out a snort, and all heads turned towards her. She was saved from having to answer as Maria walked into the living room to announce that dinner was ready.

Everyone shuffled into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Stephanie ended up in between Ranger and his father. And she was pretty sure that it was no accident that Ranger's brother had ended up across from them.

Before they started to eat Maria said a short pray in Spanish and then the bowls were passed around until everyone had a full plate in front of them.

"Okay so are no longer seeing this man." His brother continued sending Ranger a grin.

"He was a skip he is in jail where he belongs."

"Isn't that bringing your work home with you Ric?" One of his sisters quipped.

"I guess Ric just likes bad boys." Another answered.

Steph sat there smiling trying to keep from choking on her food as she watched Ranger's family continually make fun of him. She was amazed that they were able to do so without being worried about ending up in some third world country. Ranger let them all have their fun, letting them get their barbs in, and continuing to answer his brother's questions. She had been worried that they were going to be questioning her and their relationship; she was glad that they were making fun of Ranger instead. It was a side of him that she didn't see.

"Ricardo." Maria spoke.

"Yes Mama?"

"So how does Stephanie fit in to all of this?"

"She was helping us that night, Mama."

Maria nodded her head fractionally, in a way that reminded Steph of Ranger's small head nods. It was the way Ranger told her to continue or that she was going to have to explain more.

"Steph helps us out sometimes by going into bars and getting the skips to follow her out."

"Ricardo that is too dangerous for her to be doing. What were you thinking?"

"Mama, she is fine. There are always plenty of my men around."

"Your men?" His brother sniggered at him.

"He means the Merry Men." Steph told him.

"The Merry Men? Is that the name of your harem?"

Steph winced, she had been trying to help Ranger but the very opposite had happened.

"Steph calls the guys at Rangeman the Merry Men." Ranger explained.

"That's what she calls Tank?" His brother almost spit out his food.

Ranger nodded his head.

"Does he know this?"

Ranger nodded his head again.

"Man, I can't wait to see him next." Ranger's brother sat there and you could already see the wheels turning in his head.

"Back to the man at the bar." Ranger's father interrupted.

"He was just a skip sir that Stephanie was _supposed_ to lure back out to the parking lot where we would be able to apprehend him without anyone else getting hurt or in the way."

"Don't you dare make it sound like it was my fault that he wasn't interested!" Stephanie pointed her fork at him. "I can't help it that he was oh so enamored by you."

"Wait a minute, the skip really is gay?" Ranger's brother clarified.

Both Stephanie and Ranger nodded their heads.

"I just thought it was one of usual take downs that got horribly mixed up in the retelling. I would have loved to have seen Ranger pick up a guy." His brother laughed.

"Oh no you wouldn't, it was absolutely terrible. I have never seen Ranger look so scared." Steph told them as she put the last of her dinner into her mouth.

"Babe."

"It was bad Ranger." Steph said after swallowing the bite she had taken. "That is why the guys picked on you mercilessly; if you had just sucked it up and went with it they probably wouldn't have done anything. Lester gets stuck with it once in a while and he never gets picked on for it."

Ranger let out a sigh and finished up his dinner.

After dinner was cleaned up and everything was put away Ranger tried to leave.

"So tell me about the girl, Ric." His father demanded of him. Ranger looked around and was amazed that his parents had so effortless separated the two of them so they could question them individually.

"She works for me."

"That's what you said on the phone."

"It's true."

Ranger had let his family have their fun at his expense but there was no way he was going to let them start poking their noses in to the weird relationship that he and Stephanie had.

"You call her Babe?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Better not let your brother hear that he already has enough ammunition for the rest of the year without him hearing you call her Babe."

There was no way he was going to call her anything different than Babe; if he did Steph would know that something was up. Ranger just nodded at his father and went into the kitchen to rescue Stephanie from his mother.

"So you just work for him?" His mother was asking her.

"Well he usually ends up saving me a lot."

"Saving you?"

Ranger knew what was coming next and there was no way that he was going to let her tell his family that she called him Batman.

"We should be going, Babe, come on."

"Oh Ric, do you have to leave already?" His mother asked letting him know that she would rather that they stayed.

"Yes Mama, it would be better if I did."

"Come by again soon son, and you better bring her along with you." His father said making sure that Stephanie knew she was to come again.

"I'll try, sir." Ranger hedged.

"I know what that means. You are going to be making excuses." His father knew him too well, that was exactly what was going to happen. There was no way that he was going to be bringing Stephanie back here any time soon. They already had a list of questions that they wanted to ask her. By the next time they visited that list would have doubled in size and he wasn't going to let his family interrogate her on their relationship.

Ranger walked Steph over to his car and loaded her into the passenger side; he walked slowly around the front of the car to get into the driver's side. First he couldn't wait to leave and now he was dreading it. He knew that Steph was going to have some, wait no make that a ton of questions about his family.

"Ranger?" Steph started as soon as they pulled on to the highway.

Ranger steeled himself, "Yeah Babe?"

"Thanks for bringing me with you tonight." She said softly.

Ranger glanced over at her. She was leaning her head against the window watching everything go by. Ranger didn't say anything he was still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Where haven't you brought me to your parents before?" She asked still looking out the window and not glancing at him.

"Babe, how would you describe our relationship?" ranger asked her. Ranger looked over at her when she didn't say anything and could read the panic that was all over her face. "Babe?"

"You're going to dump me aren't you? That's why you didn't bring me to mete them." Steph said burying her head in her hands.

"Babe, you know that isn't true. I just wanted to know what word you would have used to describe our relationship. I know I don't know of one that describes what we are to each other. I only know that what we have works and I don't want to lose it."

Steph sat there with her mouth opened amazed at the amount words that were coming from Ranger.

"Babe, my parents would drag all of our feelings out so that they could share in our happiness. Your parents try to drown you in gravy and try not to mention words like relationship and feelings." Ranger explained. "I thought you would be uncomfortable or realize you might have made a mistake and wanted Morelli.

Steph sat there staring at Ranger, understanding that it wasn't easy for him to admit that he was afraid that she would leave him.

"Ranger I'm afraid you are stuck with me. No amount of crazy relatives is going to scare me away. Besides no one has stranger relatives than I do." Steph grinned at him as he pulled into the garage under Rangeman.

"Babe." Ranger grinned. Watching her step out of the car as he shut off the engine. He followed her out and led her over to the elevator, with his arm wrapped around her waist.

"You know what?" Steph asked turning in to him and wrapping her arms around his neck. Instead of asking what Ranger merely lifted a brow in response. "I think we need to celebrate. We made it through dinner with your family, we know where we stand with each other and you've decided that you are no longer interested in men." Steph laughed at him.

Ranger pulled her close and whispered into her ear. "Playing with fire Babe. I guess I'll have to show you how true that last one really is."

Stephanie grinned the entire way up to the seventh floor.

THE END

A/N: Sorry it took so long


End file.
